Several months ago, perhaps even up to a year and a half ago, I had a dream that woke me from my sleep. It was an audible voice saying a name. I do not want to share the name, as I believe it is meant to be between the Lord and I, but I automatically thought of my white stone name; Revelation 2:17.
In my heart, I knew that the name represented a new beginning in my life… a beginning I have felt bubbling up inside of me for a very long time. About four months ago, I unpacked a new pair of jeans, tried them on, and found a white stone in the pocket - these were brand new jeans I took out of plastic. God? Yes.
At times we become disillusioned about new beginnings, believing that we can shut the door on all of the difficult life situations that are in our pasts. We want to shut the door. But as I mature in my faith, as I walk this ever-increasing climb to be closer to God and hear His voice, I understand that every single moment of my life can be a lesson that helps me become who God made me to be.
If I slow down and think about how I handled any given situation in my life, I gain insight to who God made me to be. Even ugly moments… How did I leave or end an argument ten years ago verses today (ten years more mature in my faith)? Have a I learned how my body, heart and mind react to news, no matter if it is good news or bad news? Have I learned to go to the Lord with all of those fresh emotions and discern them with Him? How has learning to do that changed when and how I react… make choices?
I can say, without a doubt in my mind, that spending daily time with the Lord and being honest with myself while sitting next to Him has healed my person on so many levels. I can “FEEL” myself more than ever as I grow closer to Him. Am I struggle free? 100 % NO! I struggle every day with confidence. Do I make mistakes? YES! Every day. But I go to the Lord right away, with my tears, insecurities, love, joy, humility, panic, peace, thanksgiving… all the “things” my heart and spirit feel. And every single time, God is there. Growing me. Loving me. Transforming me into who he made me to be in this natural world, while all the while reminding me that I am His eternal creation, meant to dwell with Him in His Heavens once I am done here on the earth.
New beginnings can be both in the natural and in the spiritual. I also know that new beginnings do not always have an obvious beginning… they linger in like a child physically growing. You have to be sensitive to the subtle energy shifts all around you. God speaks through them.
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